Epiphanies

As anyone who is probably reading this knows, my husband has been living 4 1/2 hours away for a little over 2 months now. The distance has been a challenge to say the least. I have learned a lot about myself in my time as a somewhat single mother.
I've learned that I am perfectly capable of keeping my kitchen clean, laundry kept up with and the rest of the house relatively picked up. I can even make the beds every day. I didn't know I could do that.
I've learned that I will survive taking the trash out after dark.
I've learned I am capable of fully remodeling a bathroom, and how to be extremely grateful for those that helped by watching my children, and helping me break up and haul out a 6 inch thick tile shower.
I've learned that termites can do thousands of dollars of damage to a house, and that subsequently insurance won't cover it.
I've learned I can take a shower every other day even tho it generally involves at least one screaming child.
I've learned what it really means to miss someone.
I've learned that having unlimited texting to be able to send my husband random thoughts througout the day would sometimes be the only thing that keeps me from falling apart.
I've learned that when I try to do all of the things I've mentioned on my own that I am not a very nice person.
I've learned where (or Who) my strength comes from.
I've realized how deeply I am loved by my Heavenly Father, and by my husband.
I've come to understand that I am capable of more than I ever thought I was, but that I am even more capable when my husband is by my side.
I've learned that people don't look for a house to buy at Christmas time.
I've learned that although my son is enjoying Christmas more than ever, and I WANT to enjoy it more, it doesn't seem right without my husband home to share it with.
I've learned that watching my baby's first steps would be bittersweet when daddy wasn't here to see it.
I've learned I can make a FULL turkey dinner with all the trimmings, free of dairy and gluten, and I can do it in the tiny kitchen of a fifth wheel travel trailer.
I've come to understand what my marriage means to me, and how much at times I've taken my husband for granted and even treated him with little respect.
I've realized that although I may look like a good mom to some, most days I don't feel like one.
I've fallen in love with my children in a whole new way, and I've realized that of the 3 of us, sometimes it's ME that acts the most childish.
I see that my children miss their daddy, and how much my husband hurts when he can't be with us.
I honestly didn't think that it would take this long to sell the house, much less that it would've only showed twice in over a month. I am fighting sadness, loneliness and depression. I leave the house everyday to see someone, usually my parents, brother or grandparents because in the evenings it feels empty in the house.
I've remembered how much fun it is to be a family, to be a wife.
I've learned that Papa is always faithful, and at times like this when it feels so easy to doubt, that I can trust Him. He will take care of us. He always has. I have no reason to doubt His faithfulness.
Even in my darkest hour, the Lord my God is my greatest love. In Him I will place my trust. I will not surrender my heart to the darkness that threatens to steal my soul. I will stand and rejoice for all of the glorious gifts I've been given, and I will be thankful. I AM THANKFUL.

The first post

Well, I've had this blog for over a year, and never done anything with it. I think with all the things Papa has been doing for us and the changes that are upon us, it's time to start writing!